Here is where I am now. Here is not where I want to be, at least not yet.
I've started this blog as a method of tracking my progress in dealing with depression. Ultimately, it's a selfish endevour. I want to be able to look back on this from a better place in my life, to know that I have defeated these feelings I have now. Others may find it useful, whether dealing with depression themselves, or those trying to understand, and help, someone close to them. I don't know if that will the case, but if by writing this I do help anyone, I will be glad it's served a purpose other than my own.
I want to be...need to be...honest throughout, no matter how hard or upsetting that is. If I want to recover, and I do, then I need to be clear about where I am. I don't want to be here, I want to be there...a place where I'm happy.
I'm not going to post any names at any time throughout this. There people trying to help me and there are those who have played a part, intentionally or not, in making me feel the way I do now. I'm not looking for revenge however. What I will do is post about my daily experiences, whether small or large, my thoughts on my life and situation. It will be about what happens to me, how that makes me feel and how I see the future. I don't know how long it will take for me to recover, but I'll keep writing at least until I have. After that, I have no idea.
So, that's why I'm writing now. Later today I'll post about where I am now, how I feel and the effect that has on my life. Maybe then, I'll go back to the beginning and explain how I got here...
I've started this blog as a method of tracking my progress in dealing with depression. Ultimately, it's a selfish endevour. I want to be able to look back on this from a better place in my life, to know that I have defeated these feelings I have now. Others may find it useful, whether dealing with depression themselves, or those trying to understand, and help, someone close to them. I don't know if that will the case, but if by writing this I do help anyone, I will be glad it's served a purpose other than my own.
I want to be...need to be...honest throughout, no matter how hard or upsetting that is. If I want to recover, and I do, then I need to be clear about where I am. I don't want to be here, I want to be there...a place where I'm happy.
I'm not going to post any names at any time throughout this. There people trying to help me and there are those who have played a part, intentionally or not, in making me feel the way I do now. I'm not looking for revenge however. What I will do is post about my daily experiences, whether small or large, my thoughts on my life and situation. It will be about what happens to me, how that makes me feel and how I see the future. I don't know how long it will take for me to recover, but I'll keep writing at least until I have. After that, I have no idea.
So, that's why I'm writing now. Later today I'll post about where I am now, how I feel and the effect that has on my life. Maybe then, I'll go back to the beginning and explain how I got here...
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