We've been home now for about 4 hours and I'm not really sure how I'm feeling at the moment. A bit more relaxed, yes, but I still have so many questions that are unanswered.
I had a long wait at the airport and little to do during that time but think and dwell on the issues that I've been struggling with the last few days. It didn't make anything clearer, probably just got me more confused and anxious, but I couldn't take me mind away from them. She did look happy to see me however and talked constantly on the way home about her time on the ship.
Since we got back, we've been relaxing and chatting. Gift giving was done and everything feels OK. It's the underlying issues that are, or could be, the problem though and these haven't been spoken of. I briefly mentioned her birthday present and that I needed to speak to her about it at some point, but I've no idea when I'll bring that up. Too much baggage will come with it for it to be a sensible move at the moment. I just want to enjoy today as much as I possibly can and then take it from there.
She's taking a nap at the moment, after being awake for over 24 hours. Prior experience tells me that she'll be moving again in an hour or two and I hope that when she wakes, we'll continue to have a good evening. I still don't know what's going to happen overall, but I am always amazed by the effect she has on me. Just being around her helps me relax, to feel more positive, to be happier. It may not last, but right now I'll take any break I can from the feelings I've been accustomed to over the last 3 weeks.
No comments:
Post a Comment